..

i've seen people bleed to know they still exist in this world. over and over again. i've seen all these bombings and suffering all over the news. i've seen a child, begging so sorrowfully on the streets. its not uncommon, but its the look of his when a stranger just walks by without even looking at him, thats what hurts.

is this really what we've been working so hard for? for the future to be this way? don't tell me im immature, call me naive for all i care. i dont care how much u criticize me or whatever. because this is how much the world means to me now. why isit that i can watch my friends cut themselves, that i can watch people kill their own kind, that i can bear to see a kid of five or six begging for food just to survive. dont you get it?

when i was young, well younger, i used to dream of these wild aspirations, i wanted to be the next president of singapore, a singer, a actress, a doctor, a lawyer or a whatever else you can think of. but when i reached secondary school, everything didnt matter anymore. it wasnt about being the first female president of singapore, or the doctor or lawyer stuff. it was just about getting through each day. every single day. (i really dont mean to pull down anyone's spirit about being a doctor or lawyer okay, & im sorry if i did.)

because when i was younger, everything seemed so near. like i could do whatever i wanted. & then year by year, there's people telling you "you cant do that, it wont bring you anywhere!" or "please stop kidding yourself." and the "you'll never make it anywhere like that!". so when exactly did my childhood fantasy end? & what happened to everything being so perfect & simple & so possible.

thats how much the world means to me.